sakit.
itu fitrah.
Allah kurniakan manusia tu perasaan, sbg salah satu sifat yg ada dlm diri manusia. talking about feelings,byk..rase gembira,syg,bahagia..
excitement to get something..macm2.. semue org suke rase cmni..
karma..
bila ade pahale,ade dosa.bila ade dunia,ade akhirat.bile ade syurga, ade neraka.bila ade bahagia,ade kecewa.
feeling ni,org tak bpe nk suke.kecewa,gagal,tekanan..nobdys like dis stuff.
people tends to see dis part in a negative side.me too. but whnever we think it all over again,sometmes dis -ve feeling can trigger people towards enthusiasm. rarely humans accept dis as apart of tools to driven peoples towards success.
speak of the devil,aku pernah kecewa.banyak kali.nk kire?countless.
kdg2 at one point aku rase useless person bile asyik kecewa.wht people say,LOOSER.mcm glee.
my mom passed away whn im 10. cancer,breast cancer. a year later, dad.
2 kehilangn paling besar dlm hidup,plus, i ws so young that tme,not even 12,have totally chnge my life. untill now.
i bcme vry shy girl,i do not know how to communicate with people, to socialize with others,bcme a silent girl.totally. the major change, less self confidence in myself.
pathethic.
and i realize things bcome worsts whn ive been sent to orphanage home.
be in d new place. new enviromnt,new skool,new frens,everytng is new.
people called u by name.hows it feels?pain.and frust.
i used to be a happy girl,very energetc, talkative.until the day my mom passed away.i forget how to smile,bcome very aggressive,easy to loose my temper.yelling at people.irrespective.
however, i realized one day, when a lady talk to me personally, telling me that, lets bygone be bygone. theres nothing i can do to change the past, but alot that i can do to change my future.
so,i decided to mke a total change. ive chnge.manage to make some.but still progressing.
there’s been in a particular year, during my skool day.
i meet this guy.he be fren wth me,support me alot,motivate me,say he loves me,say he missed me,say he need me,we hve a good r/ship,he declared wth me.
and he dump me off.
with a piece of letter.fren of him sent it to me at skool canteen. with writing “i cant meet u anymore.we cant b togther.” alias the reason of breakoff.
and the next day, he walked with other girl,his classmte,a.k.a madu ku yg tak jadi.
and again, frust.pain.
my first love.never forget it. ( walaupun pernah terserempak dgn die,dan memandang aku dgn mate terbeliak, do i care?yes.his apart of the memory.do i turn to him back.never.sory 4 that)
the reason for the entry, just to share how much it pain to feels frustrated. be it in our life, be it in our job, be it in our love.
its so pain untill it takes a 7 lifes to get rid over it. our memory, our feelings was not kinda mmry card,u store,it get fulled,u remove,dlete,its empty. bacause the feelings is the great gift from Allah. everybdy owned it.evrybdy have it.evrybdy dserved to love and be love.hwever, when we are ready to accept the feelings of love,we are ready automatclly to accept the feels of pain,frustrated,loosing sumone that we love, like ive been through.so pain,it was so hard time to face. mad,sadness,demotivated,down.really harsh.
but how,
when we made others frustrated on us?
did they feel the same way?
does we care?
asking me,it takes every single of my breath to say sorry for what ive done. sometmes, when things happen against for what we expected, its not because there no love in between. its only because the silver lining was tke place in the middle.
to anyone that i let u down,
from bottom of my heart,im sorry.
